God that was awful, just terrible
A dark voice rose from within me
Gaga aghast and agog
And threatened to swallow me whole
A slathering blackness of a maw
The show the show the hideous show
One horrible word after another
One horrible minute after another
Whatever persuaded me this was a good idea?
Whatever persuaded me I have any talent?
And this had any chance at all of being good?
And all those audiences and reviewers and friends
Who laughed and applauded and reviewed?
They were just having me on so the fall when it came would be
all the worse
More ghastly and hideous
Last night was that fall
Sometimes you know, I’m quite good at this
Hard though it might be to believe sometimes
Like last night
And sometimes I’m good and the audience are bad
And sometimes I’m not very good but the audience are great [my first two shows here]
But last night?
I was bad and they were terrible
Whatever persuaded me to come to Canada and do a show about a riot?
And I’m stuck with it the whole summer
It’s the end of my career
It’s the end of my sanity
It’s the end of my strength
I shut my eyes and I think of rusty swords in my guts
I wonder about the thudding impact of a spear on the torso as it goes in
I think of black slathering swallowing mawsAhhhg